GET theonion.com HTTP 200175 ms23.1 KB$0.00069 captured Aug 7, 2026
theonion.com, as data
One API turns any theonion.com page into markdown, structured JSON, its link graph or a screenshot, and crawls the whole site the same way. The panel shows the real response we captured.
- Render mode
- Plain HTTP, no browser needed
- Response
- HTTP 200 in 175 ms
- Page size
- 23.1 KB of markdown, 310 lines
- Fields
- Business Name, Address, Phone, Category and 1 more
- Captured
- Aug 7, 2026
Free balance on signup, no card. This theonion.com page cost $0.00069 to fetch.
Become a Member. Get the Paper.## Antichrist Rolls Eyes Throughout Peter Thiel LectureROME—In addition to crossing his arms and shaking his head as he listened to the tech billionaire spread blatant misinformation…* ### Everyone Needs To Calm Down, Reports Man Who Accidentally Shot Someone* ### Eating Disorders: Myth Vs. Fact## Recent Videos### Chippendales Recalls 4,000 Tons Of Tainted Man Meat### Last-Ever Global Warming Report Released For Posterity### Tesla Launches New Model Of Explosions### **The Onion:**** ****Sending Emails For Over A Hundred Years.**Get All The Latest Headlines By Email, Once A Day.Add Your Name to the Daily ListThis field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.## In Other News### Premium DraftKings Feature Lets User Select Players To Have Legs Broken By GoonsBOSTON—Touting the offering as a path to even bigger winnings from daily fantasy football picks, sports gambling app DraftKings unveiled…* #### Shoplifter Always Gets Little Adrenaline Rush After Stealing Basic Necessities For Family* #### Dying Polar Bear Has To Admit Owning A Private Jet Would Be Fucking Sick## Trending### The Onion’s Top State Fair Foods### Man Came To Funeral Straight From Work### Study: Explosive Power Of Rocket Launcher Increased 35% By Shouting ‘Suck On This’## American Voices### Ariana Grande Takes Break From Public Life Amid ‘Endless Scrutiny’### Truth Social Begins Selling Advanced Access To Trump Posts### Oprah Announces Closure Of School For Girls In Africa### U.S. Bans Foreign-Made Humanoid Robots## Politics### New DNC Fundraising Email Urges Voters To Find Something Better To Do With Their MoneyWASHINGTON—Pleading with recipients to use their hard-earned cash more productively, a Democratic National Committee fundraising email sent out Thursday urged voters…* #### Pentagon Declassifies Files On Blimps* #### Trump Baselessly Claims He Is Viral 40-Pound Tabby Cat Named Daddy CinnamonWhat Spider does on theonion.com
Same key, five endpoints. The numbers under a cell were measured on this page.
Page to markdown
Clean text for RAG and LLM context, boilerplate removed. The lane that runs without a key.
175 ms · $0.00069Page to JSON
Spider reads the page and names the fields. Pass your own schema when you need exact keys.
Rendered capture
Real Chromium, full-page PNG. The same call also returns the rendered HTML.
The call behind the panel
This request produced the response above. Paste it with your key and you get the same bytes.
curl -X POST https://api.spider.cloud/scrape \
-H "Authorization: Bearer $SPIDER_API_KEY" \
-H "Content-Type: application/json" \
-d '{"url": "https://theonion.com/", "return_format": "markdown"}'from spider import Spider
app = Spider()
params = {"return_format": "markdown"}
page = app.scrape_url("https://theonion.com/", params=params)
print(page[0]["content"])import { Spider } from "@spider-cloud/spider-client";
const app = new Spider();
const [page] = await app.scrapeUrl("https://theonion.com/", {
return_format: "markdown",
});
console.log(page.content);What theonion.com costs
Multiplied from the measured 23.1 KB page. Estimates round to the cent.
1 GB of transfer costs $1, plus $0.001 per CPU minute, and failed requests cost $0. Crawling daily? The Unlimited plan is a flat monthly rate.
Point this at the rest of theonion.com.
The capture above took 175 ms and cost $0.00069. The same call takes any URL on theonion.com.